


trypanophobia

by peachkeith (pechebaie)



Series: my self-indulgent Everyone Is Trans au [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, HRT, Trans Keith (Voltron), Trans Male Character, goes about as well as when i started T tbh, i can only pray that my laptop didnt autocorrect that word for everyone else too..., its great, keith is afraid of needles, keith starts testosterone, uhhhh what else to tag, which is to say it takes a while but it gets done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 05:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12810240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pechebaie/pseuds/peachkeith
Summary: trypanophobia is defined as extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections or needlesor, keith starts testosterone(rating is for language and possibly triggering content (lots of needle mentions))





	trypanophobia

**Author's Note:**

> me: for some reason starts thinkin abt my 1st t shot  
> me: Hey. I Should Write Something
> 
> fair warning, they talk abt needles A Lot, & wen the shot actually happens it's described with a fair bit of detail (which is surprising bc needles generally give me panic attacks, to the point where i hav my laptop change the word to 'pointy fucker', no i'm not joking i was having a moment), so if that stuff isn't for you, don't read this
> 
> Edit: aaaaaaand as i posted this my laptop decided to actually change every 'needle' to 'pointy fucker' so im officially having it Not do that Ever Again, i had 2 go back in and change the whole thing. apologies to whoever saw THAT major fuckup aha

keith squints at the vial in his hand, trying to at least sound out the altean word. he’s not the best at the language, but he’s picked up a little bit from all of his time spent on the castle, with nothing written in english. In theory, he _should_ be able to read this, even if he doesn’t know what it translates to. but it’s handwritten, and coran’s handwriting is some of the worst keith’s ever seen.

he knows what it is, of course; he’s just stalling.

“dude, are you okay?”

keith blinks and looks up from the vial and at pidge. “what?”

“you’ve been staring at that for a good ten minutes,” pidge says. “like, i know starting hormones is super surreal - i mean, i’m still in awe when i take mine and i’ve been on them for two years - but i’m kind of starting to worry about you.”

“can you read this?” keith thrusts the vial towards pidge, who takes it and squints at it through her lenses.

she takes a minute to skim over the characters, then says, “well, no, but nobody can read coran’s handwriting. why do you need to know? you know what’s in it already.”

“i know that,” keith grumbles, takes the vial back. “it’s just, like-” his next words are mumbled.

pidge blinks. “you what-now?”

keith repeats himself a bit louder, but his words are still mumbled and kind of slurred together.

“keith,” pidge says.

“i’m scared of needles, okay?” keith almost yells. “and i’m scared to do the shot, so i’m stalling!”

pidge snorts. “dude, are you kidding me? you’ve spent a year fighting giant purple aliens, found out you are a giant purple alien, almost died - i don’t know - twelve times, and you didn’t even blink. but _needles_ scare you?”

“it’s not funny,” keith growls.

“yeah, you’re right; it’s hilarious.”

“if you keep making fun of me,” keith threatens, “i’m going to tell shiro.”

pidge stops laughing then, seems to consider something. “actually,” she says after a moment, “that’s not a bad idea. if you can’t do your own injection, maybe shiro could do it?”

“nope,” keith says immediately. “i don’t need shiro stabbing me in the leg every month.”

“well, _i_ can’t do it because i’m not too good with needles myself,” pidge says. “hunk?”

keith considers it, then shakes his head. “we’re close, but not ‘hey, can you stick a needle in my thigh? thanks’ close.”

“definitely not allura, then,” pidge confirms. “uh, no offense to him, but i wouldn’t trust coran with a needle."

“ _no_ ,” keith says before pidge can say anything more. “i’m _not_ asking lance for help. he’ll just make fun of me.”

“keith, lance is afraid of the dark,” pidge says. “why would he make fun of you for being scared of needles? did you make fun of him when you found out he still sleeps with a nightlight?” when keith crosses his arms and scowls, pidge continues, “besides, didn’t he used to help his little brother with his insulin injections? he’ll be a natural.”

keith scowls harder. “...i hate that you’re right. will you come with me?”

“i’ll carry the stuff so you don’t have to look at the needle, yes, keith,” pidge says. “but _you_ have to ask him yourself.”

* * *

by the time they reach lance’s bedroom, keith is shaking. “pidge,” he says. “this is too weird. i can’t do it.”

“okay,” pidge says. “so, you’re alternatives are asking shiro, doing it yourself, or not starting testosterone. you pick.”

keith groans. “ _pidge_.”

“ _keith_.”

“this is _weird_ -” keith starts just as lance’s door slides open and he clamps his mouth shut.

“what’s weird?” lance asks, looks between keith and pidge a little awkwardly. “uh, are you guys okay?”

pidge, ever the little demon, immediately throws keith under the bus and says, “yeah, keith just needed to ask you for a favour.”

“fuck you!” keith hisses.

“what’s the favour?” asks lance.

“uh…” keith doesn’t know what to say, now. truthfully, he didn’t expect to get this far. “i, uh, i need you. to stab me? in the leg. with a needle. please.”

lance blinks. “yeah, okay. like, now?”

“preferably?”

“cool,” pidge says, and passes with vial and the still-packaged needle off to lance. “have fun, you two. i’m going to go ask hunk if he wants to watch one of those weird altean nature documentaries with me again. we never finished that moose one. feel free to join us when you finish.”

keith and lance watch pidge leave in silence. when she disappears around the corner, lance turns to keith and says, “so, do you want to come in?”

lance’s room is surprisingly clean. keith had expected the floor to be littered with dirty clothes, or for there to be dirty dishes on every available surface. instead, his bed is made (albeit sloppily) and the floor is clean. the dresser is pretty covered with figurines and souvenirs from various planets they’ve visited, but it’s okay because that’s pretty cute. keith pushes that thought away with a frown.

once inside, he turns around and sees lance still in the doorway, squinting down at the bottle. “okay, what even is this stuff?” lance asks after a moment.

“testosterone.”

lance’s face lights up so fast, you’d think the hormones were for him and not keith. “dude!” he exclaims. “holy shit! nice!”

“it has to go in my leg,” keith says. “or my butt, but i don’t trust you to do that.” lance pouts, and keith adds, “i don’t trust you with a needle in general, actually. this was pidge’s idea.”

keith goes to sit on lance’s bed and lets his legs dangle over the edge.

“so, why can’t you do this yourself?” lance asks.

keith stares at the floor. “i don’t like needles.”

“oh, yeah, okay,” lance says, like keith didn’t just admit his one greatest fear to him. “that’s understandable. a lot of people are scared of needles.” he starts unwrapping the needle, then stops and asks, “how much of this do you need?”

“a quarter millilitre,” keith answer. “stop at the .25 mark.”

lance scoffs. “i _know_ what a quarter is, keith, thanks.” he finishes opening the needle and keith has to look away, calm his breathing.

“hey,” lance says after another minute. “you should take your pants off.”

for a second, keith’s heart stops and all his blood rushes to his face. “ _excuse me_?”

“for the _shot, dumbass_! oh, my god, you’re so gross.”

keith realises that he has a point and stands up to shimmy out of his jeans. it takes a minute, because _damn_ are they tight, but he eventually gets them off and sits back on lance’s bed.

when lance finishes getting the needle ready, he asks, “this is going into muscle, right?” keith nods. “okay, then you should probably lie down; it’ll relax your thighs more. if you’re tense when we do this, it’ll hurt way more than it has to.”

keith doesn’t mention that he’s going to be super tense either way, because it’s a _needle_ , but nods and lies down anyway.

“okay!” lance says, walks over. he pushes up one leg of keith’s briefs to get better access to the muscle, and keith lies very still. “i didn’t take you for a briefs guy.”

“boxers scrunch up weird with my jeans,” keith says. “i usually just wear them to bed.”

lance nods. “makes sense,” he says. then he rubs something _wet and cold_ on keith’s upper thigh, and keith jumps.

“ _what_ is that?”

“it’s just a wet wipe!” lance says. “you have to sterilise an area before you give an injection. have you literally never gotten a shot before?”

“i definitely don’t remember that from flu shots,” keith grumbles, but when lance goes back in with the wipe, he doesn’t protest. he does shiver, though, because _god_ is it cold and uncomfortable.

“you ready?”

 _no_ , keith thinks. “yes,” he says. he cranes his neck up to watch lance, which is a mistake, because the needle is longer than he thought it was, and it’s terrifying, and at the last second keith yells, “ _wait!_ ”

lance, _thank god_ , stops. “you okay?”

keith, hands shaking, swallows hard and says, “i- c-can you hold my hand?”

he expects lance to laugh at him, at the fact that keith, a grown man, needs to hold someone’s hand when he gets a shot. but lance doesn’t. he actually _smiles_ , grabs onto keith’s hand. “sure thing,” lance says.

“it’s not weird?”

“nope. my brother used to need this ratty old stuffed dog to hold for all of his shots. they’re scary, i get that. it’s not weird.”

keith thinks he must be breaking every bone in lance’s hand right now, with how hard he’s squeezing it. he breathes out heavily through his nose and says, “okay, you can go now.”

the initial shock and pain is enough for keith to gasp and, somehow, hold onto lance’s hand even harder, but then it doesn’t hurt. actually, keith can’t even feel it.

“can i start pressing?” lance asks gently.

“uh, yeah,” keith says, nods.

the testosterone itself is cold. keith can actually _feel_ how cold it is. it’s pretty uncomfortable, to say the least. at one point, lance pushes it in a little too fast and keith, gasping from sudden pain, has to ask him to pause and go slower. lance obliges, and keith is infinitely grateful.

when it’s done, they put a bandaid on keith’s thigh and lance takes care of the needle so keith doesn’t have to look at or think about it for longer than he has to. keith pulls his pants back on and then flops back down on lance’s bed.

“wow,” he says.

“you good?” lance asks, then flops down next to keith.

“yes,” keith says. “yeah, i’m amazing.” then, breathless and in awe, “holy shit, i’m on testosterone.”

lance glances at the makeshift clock on his bedside table, then back at keith, grinning. “five minutes on t,” he says. “how’s it feel?”

keith sighs. “honestly? my leg hurts.”

lance snorts. “ _other_ than that?”

“amazing.” keith laughs, light and happy. “thank you.”

“hey, dude, no,” lance protests, “that was all you. sure, i’m the one who stabbed you, but you’re the guy getting stabbed.”

“still,” keith says, grabs onto lance’s hand and squeezes lightly. “thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to get this as close to my own injections as possibl (my mom does them, bless her idk how im gonna do mine when i move out). everyones experience with hormones is different, so if u havent startd hormones & r planning on it, dont go in thinking this is the only way it's done. if needles rly arent your cup of tea, u can also use gel which u just apply daily (tbh thats probly wat im gonna use wen i move out instead of injections lmao)


End file.
